When dogs go bad

Aaaahhhhh!

Via jwz.

Blogging for bucks in San Diego

Holy shit! Blogging pays off in San Diego, in a very real, green, foldable way. Congrats to Brian for his upcoming publication in the San Diego Reader, which seems to be a popular rag around these parts. And fucking right, the whole deal landed him a solid 2G.

Now, I don't want to let my jealousy of Brian swimming in the scrilla get to me by pointing out that he just got a fat check for doing what other bloggers do out of a need akin to a crack habit. Cause Brian deserves the handsome payment. No less than myself, of course. Really. I'm blogging, I'm in San Diego (temporarily), and I too could use a couple thousand bucks—to pay off the student loans of course, not to take a 3 day, binge drinking tour of Tijuana with all of the dancing girls I could afford. You hear me, San Diego Reader? Your money would be well spent on my services.

Of course, if the Reader doesn't call me, it's because they know I value my integrity and would never sell out for something as meaningless as crisp, new dollar bills. Only someone without a shred of independence or sincerity would sell his soul like that. Blogging is so much more important, and the Reader knows I keep it too real for them to pimp me out.

Oh please, god, pimp me out! I'll work twice as hard for half of what you paid Brian. ;)

Anyway, everyone send a word of congrats over to Brian. At the very least you'll get in a trackback that might just help you greedy bitches get noticed.

How not to find an editor

Looking for a publication editor? Try using the word "it's" properly. I dropped off an email to the address listed on the ad because they obviously need an editor for job descriptions. Even I could see this mistake, and I'm only a grammar master, not a grammar god. I'm pretty sure I could handle it, though. ;) Here's to my new night-job!

(Via eclecticism.)

Elect us or you'll all die

Head on over to Gotham City 13 and check out the White House Kool-Aid gang. "You will obey." Brought to you via Blunted.

"Twin Cobra Fist!"

Do you want to dispense Asswhoopery like the US government? Learn the 1000 Styles of Rumsfeld and your skills will be almost unmatched! But can you beat his Appease a Corrupt Dictator on Camera technique?

Via Dave.

Furry Humans

Found this via jwz, and it is perhaps the most disturbing thing I've seen in a while.

Final proof that Califoria is stupid.

California suggests your buildings should channel positive energy. As if we needed more proof that California is stupid.

I will die fighting

Just found out via Suburban Blight that Fidel Castro says he will "fight to the death" if invaded by the US.

Honestly...who said anything about invading Cuba?? Puh-leaze, Fidel. All the arm waving...all the drama..."fight to the death!"...when in reality he has no one to fight, and is content to starve his people instead.

Source

Yeah, but you never know...

So I'm joining the club. I vow that I will fight to the death if I am invaded by the United States. I will die "with a gun in my hand" if they come to overthrow me. Um, yeah.

Exploding Whale Gut Fun

Exploding whale entrails stop traffic in Tainan. This one stands for itself. Via jwz.

Residents of Tainan learned a lesson in whale biology after the decomposing remains of a 60-ton sperm whale exploded on a busy street, showering nearby cars and shops with blood and organs and stopping traffic for hours. The 56-foot-long whale had been on a truck headed for a necropsy by researchers, when gases from internal decay caused its entrails to explode in the southern city of Tainan.

The whale drew the attention of locals because of its large penis, measured at some five feet, the Taipei Times reported. "More than 100 Tainan city residents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to 'experience' the size of its penis," the newspaper reported.

Source

Go check out the pictures for more exploding whale gut fun.

Power Point Literature

Found this via Dave today—literature condensed down to Power Point. And condensed is the key word. And we all know Power Point makes you dumb. Wow. Dumb out with some power point literature.

Got this monkey on my butt

Something tells me this must signal the end of the world.

Be the first on your block to get Funky Monkey Panties. Or for the guys, "bright red briefs for men featuring Chinese characters for wealth and prosperity," (via AP).

The Chinese new year is almost year, and 2004 is the year of the Monkey. So get your Monkey Panties in time, and you too may be prosperous and successful.

Strangest thing I've seen in a while.

I found this over at found objects and it is the weirdest thing I've seen in a long time.

Head on over and check out the box of reject vampire teeth someone found in South England. I guess Europeans don't make vampires like they used to.

What's even more strange is that something like this was thrown on the side of the road.

Boo

Palestinian cat link via Suburban Blight.

"ATTENTION WHITE PEOPLE"

White people, please read our latest newsletter for new instructions (via suburban blight). Thank you and enjoy your holidays.

Cause I can do it, in the mix / Not a problem that I can't fix

Every day it seems like SCO does something else to shoot themselves in the foot with regards to their case against IBM and the Free Software Community. This time, they've sent out a ridiculous "Open Letter to the Open Source Community". It's chock full of all kinds of logical flaws, not the least of which are blatant misquotes of Eric S. Raymond and Bruce Perens. The flood of bullshit from them is hard to believe at times.

But in the spirit of fairness, sbuckhopper posted a "remix" of the letter on Slashdot giving SCO the same treatment. Let's see how they like being misquoted and misrepresented—included below is the full text of the comment.

Funny, the way I read the OpenLetter from SCO, Darl seems to be in favor of OpenSource. Now that he's dumping all of his SCO stock maybe he doesn't care anymore. Or maybe he's realized that there is not case...

Here is quotes from the letter that support my statement:

"This ""Open Source software is healthy and beneficial. It offers long-term benefits to the industry by addressing a new business model in advance of wide-scale adoption by customers."

"My company, the SCO Group, became a focus of this controversy when we ""fought ""to ""cast...""a shadow over the ""Open Source movement ""by ""alleging ""that UNIX System V code"" in fact"" proprietary software code""."

"Linux ""is a ""authorized ""work ""not ""derivative ""of ""the ""UNIX System V code""."

"No one can tolerate ""SCO's ""business model that is ""built only on ""a lawsuit against IBM"". ""Finally, it is clear that the ""SCO Group is ""increasingly alienated from anyone associated ""with ""software ""and ""community."

"I will continue to ""sue... ""everyone ""...as... ""CEO""."

Check the letter, every quoted word is in there in some context or another. I see this as just as valid of an interpretation of his letter as he does Bruce Peren's letter and ESR's statements.

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